How Being a Doula Prepared Me for Foster Parenting

When I became a doula, I didn’t know it would lead me to foster care and how valuable my experience would be, but looking back, so many of the tools, instincts, and experiences I’ve gained through birth and postpartum work have shaped me into the kind of foster parent I strive to be, especially for the newborns and infants I have welcome into my home and heart.

As a doula, I’ve spent years working alongside all kinds of professionals: midwives, doctors, social workers, lactation consultants, case managers, and beyond. That comfort with multidisciplinary care has helped me navigate the complexity of the foster care system with more confidence and less overwhelm. I know how to speak up, ask questions, and hold space in professional settings, while still keeping the baby’s best interests at the center.

My knowledge of the fourth trimester has been especially useful when caring for newborns. I already understand how to soothe a fussy baby, how to support different methods of infant feeding and bonding, and how to tune into those early cues around elimination, sleep, and comfort. These little ones often arrive without much warning, and sometimes with very little information, but they are still just babies, deserving of love, stability, and deep care.

Over time, my knowledge of newborn care has also grown to include caring for infants exposed to substances in the womb. Supporting babies with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) requires an extra level of sensitivity, patience, and attunement. These little ones often need more time to settle, more physical closeness, and a calm, low-stimulation environment. My doula background has helped me tune into their unique cues and offer comfort in ways that feel safe and supportive for their nervous systems. It’s been a humbling extension of my work, one that deepens my respect for their resilience, and for the families working toward reunification.

Doula work has also made me comfortable with unpredictability. I’m used to being on-call. I know what it feels like for plans to change in an instant. That flexibility, that ability to show up wholeheartedly even when things don’t go as expected, that’s part of the job. And it translates beautifully to foster care.

One of the greatest gifts of my work has been the opportunity to support families from all walks of life. As a doula and foster parent, I’ve learned how to hold space for many different parenting styles, cultural traditions, and personal choices—without judgment. Every family brings its own story, and I consider it a privilege to walk alongside them, offering care that respects their values and supports their growth. This openness has been essential in fostering, where empathy and flexibility matter just as much as routine and structure.

One of the hardest and most sacred parts of fostering is knowing that while I love these children as if they were my own, they are not mine to keep. Doula work has taught me how to nurture with open hands, to pour love into someone during a vulnerable chapter, even if our time together is short. That kind of love is no less real, and no less powerful.

I also bring with me an understanding of trauma. As a doula, I’ve seen how birth, separation, and early life experiences leave lasting imprints. I try to show up with respect, not assumptions, letting each baby lead, and holding space for the pain their biological families may be carrying. Because here’s the truth: I can love these babies, and still have deep empathy for their birth parents. Being a doula taught me that two things can be true at once—that grief and hope often live side by side. And that compassion is always the better choice.

Fostering isn’t easy, but neither is birthwork. Both require presence, patience, advocacy, and deep wells of love. I’m grateful that one path helped prepare me for the other and that I get to continue showing up, one baby at a time.

If this speaks to something in your heart, I encourage you to explore what fostering might look like for you. There are many ways to support children in need of stability, love, and care—even if just for a season. You can reach out to the Fostering Service Malta to learn more about the process, ask questions, and see if fostering is the right path for your family. Every child deserves a safe place to land and with currently 50 children in Malta needing this support, you might be exactly who they need.