Why a Birth Plan Matters (Even When Birth is Unpredictable)

We plan for so many things in life. We plan meals for the week, study schedules for exams, training for marathons, even which route to take on a holiday. Planning helps us feel prepared, grounded, and intentional.

And yet, when it comes to birth, women are often told not to plan. We hear things like, “Birth is unpredictable, don’t set yourself up for disappointment,” or “Just go with the flow.” While it’s true that birth can take unexpected turns, that doesn’t mean planning has no place in the process. In fact, it’s the very unpredictability of birth that makes preparation so valuable.

A birth plan isn’t about scripting the day down to the minute. It’s about reflecting on what truly matters to you, learning your options, and communicating your preferences clearly so that you’re an active participant in your care. It’s less of a rigid plan and more of a compass that guides you through the big day.

For example, you might ask yourself:

• How do I want to be treated during labour?

• What do I want the medical team to know about me as a person, not just as a patient?

• Which pain management options do I want to prepare for, and how can the team support me in using them?

• What newborn procedures matter most to me?

• How do I want to feed my baby, and what support might I need?

  
  

These reflections don’t just prepare you for birth, they also help ensure that informed consent is at the centre of every decision. By writing down your wishes, you make it easier to advocate for yourself (and easier for your birth partner or team to advocate on your behalf, too).

It’s also worth noting: if a care provider dismisses your desire to make a birth plan or refuses to discuss it, that can be a red flag. A supportive team should welcome your input and work with you to find ways to respect your preferences, even if circumstances change.

At the heart of it, birth planning isn’t about control it’s about clarity, respect, and empowerment. You deserve to step into your birth day knowing what matters to you, and knowing you’ll be heard.

If you’d like support in creating a birth plan that feels flexible, grounded, and truly yours, I can help! Through my Birth Flow Course and one-to-one Guidance Consultations, I walk you through your options, help you uncover what’s most important to you, and give you practical tools to advocate for yourself every step of the way.

You aren't just planning for birth, you are preparing with intention, for one of the most powerful moments of your life.